Here it is folks the post you’ve always been waiting for (whether you realized it or not) – The official top 10 reasons to drink Tea:
‘Thermal discomfort‘
Tea may help you whether you’re chilly and need to warm up, or hot and need to cool down. Tea gets a thumbs up! The all-purpose temperature restorer.
‘Gank Mouth‘
The phrase may be unfamiliar, but the experience is: the uncomfortable cloyed feeling after eating too many scones, biscuits, or cakes. Allow me to present Gank Mouth, ladies and gentlemen…
But don’t worry! Tea will wash away this unpleasant ailment, leaving your tongue clean and ready for more. It’s no coincidence that scones and tea complement each other so beautifully.
‘New Tea Samplage‘
There are so many excellent teas available that it would be a crime (and should be) not to go to great pains to broaden your Tea pallet. As a result, exploring different Teas is a great motivation to drink Tea.
‘Free Tea‘
So, now! This is a personal favourite of mine as a broke student.
There are two threads (or prongs) to this reason: To begin with, refusing would be quite impolite, wouldn’t it? Later – it’d be a blunder to both your palate and Tea (‘You don’t want me? Why? Why?!?’).
‘Social Tea‘
Tea is a sociable organism that improves with abundance. Tea for one is never the same as tea with friends. Similarly, seeing friends becomes more enjoyable with the addition of a pot of tea. It’s a win-win situation! =)
‘You’re a builder‘
Obviously, this one has a narrow appeal, yet it benefits from a natural law: Builders always consume tea.
Tea for builders is similar to tipping a waiter in that it is expected, but it also expresses how pleased you are with their job. I should also mention that builders is a broad phrase that includes decorators, joiners, electricians, and plumbers. Tea for builders is often especially milky and syrupy, although it’s wise to double-check.
‘ You have a trainee at work‘
Making everyone Tea is the trainee’s honorable responsibility and yours is to drink it. It is a fundamental and essential part of induction into a new place of work as it informs them of everybody’s Tea habits, and consequently allows them an invaluable window into the souls of their colleagues.
You have a duty to drink the Tea they bring you and comment on it’s quality – this is part of the training process. In the absense of a trainee, however, a newly hired bod will suffice. Or the one who embarassed themselves at the staff party last week.
‘Tea Passion‘
Oh, my days… This one is hard to describe, but there again, I shouldn’t need to explain this to you dear reader! With ‘Tea Passion’ I refer simply to that inexplicable urge to have a cup of Tea; that gutteral need for hot and steamy C. sinensis. These desires cannot be ignored!
Furthermore these cravings are often highly rewarding to indulge. The spontaneous impulse to drink Tea often leads to the most enjoyed cup of the day. Odd that.
‘Prospective mate evaluation‘
When selecting a mate it is important to take a step back and evaluate them coldly and with careful calculation. Who’d want to be stuck with a dud? An easy (and compelling) way to do this is to sit down and request a cup of Tea.
You will now be in the perfect position to evaluate them in the manner described above, but also to carefully take note of their Tea making ability. Their level of skill in Tea making is likely to be highly indicative of their skill in the bedroom – remember that. One further reason to include Tea in your mating ritual is that it reveals the size of their Tea collection and their preference within it – very useful.
‘Someone put the kettle on‘
Our number one reason for drinking Tea, ladies and gentlemen, is very simple – Drink Tea because it’s available. This reached the top spot to illustrate that, when we get down to it, we really don’t need a reason to drink Tea at all.
For example: I’m sat here at the computer with the dog head dribbling peacefully on my lap (the rest of the dog is on the floor beside me) typing an article about the top 10 reasons to drink Tea, but the cup I have in front of me was brought to me by my brother for no apparent reason at all except that he was making one himself.
Tea may be drunk for any number of reasons, but ofttimes it just arrives in front of you. Huzzah for magical Tea appearances.
So there we are. The official top 10 reasons to drink Tea! Hope you enjoyed it and maybe learned a little.
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